Thoughts while waiting for the coffee

    Its 5A.M. as you awake to the clock in your head. In the darkness your enveloped  in a cocoon of warmth ,just big enough for you and her. Silently you take in her gentle softness You kiss her neck with the touch of a butterfly as you slowly pull your arm from around her familiar form, her body setting off that snooze alarm in your head, beckoning you for you to share ten more minutes of your life with her in heaven.
You smile.
     Slipping downstairs as you dress, you cant help but to look in on your teenage son sleeping , after a night of video games and texting to his new girl friend. The one that your not that sure about yet. The thought enters your mind that these days are drawing to a close. You see in him all of the good things in your life and sometimes a little too much of yourself.His dog and best friend curled up at his side. The Little boy he was, now replaced by a man/child who knows everything and nothing ,all at the same time. As you look on at the man he's going to be, you can still see a little of the child he was in his face  as you quietly shut the door.
The smile is gone.
     Heading down, the boys  dog lazily follows, your joints creaking as you move. But each step brings back youth to the, too worn out to be this young body. With the smell of coffee promising clarity you make your way through the kitchen, the misty quiet of a cool December morning waiting for you as you open the door and step into the fog enveloping your backyard. Squirrels collecting breakfast make a break for the fence as the dog runs a victory lap around the yard, once again king of his domain.
The smiles back.
    Sitting on a bench you mind racing over yesterday and then ahead to what you have to do today. Another long day away from the ones you love. Another battle in that old trade off of time for money. Looking down at your hands you try to remember what they looked like at 18, the ones in front of your eyes seem more like your fathers then your own. Another day and a few more scars.
And you frown
     First light, ,,,the first warm pink rays peer over the oaks  bringing Gods on invitation to his new day.  You Look around and finally make out your surroundings.  It strikes you, not for the first time that your sitting in a garden created by the Angel you left sleeping. What was once dirt and weeds is now a garden of eden. Plants of every type and form surround her potting bench, half filled with her next project. In the rose garden you can just make out the yellow rose she planted in the spring to honor of your late father. Evergreens keep the promise of the coming spring, as the scent of rosemary wafts by on the breeze and it mixes with the smell of the coffee as the screen door behind you creaks and a familiar feminine  hand  touches my neck as she hands me a cup. I hear my sons sleepy call of "Dad" from somewhere inside the house.

                                                   I bow my head.